Christiana and I have come with a wonderful short that we desperately need to get produced! It was spawned by her irrational fear of sculptures (which I think might have come from the rock people in the Never Ending Story) and my love for sculptures... and the fact that we both get in trouble at museums. Oops!!
Now, this would be produced in the style of the old silent films: black and white, silly music that doesn't really match the scenes, and the screen shots of a few words every now and again to really hit home what's going on. I will call them the "Captain Obvious Card"
Sit back, relax and enjoy the CURATORS TOOTHBRUSH
The scene is a museum, heavily laden with sculptures. Sculptures of people, animals, busts of famous people, replicas of columns and buildings. This place is choc full of sandstone and ivory, people.
Enter David. David is a poor, but handsome, traveler, wanting to see the sites of this great city, to experience culture beyond what he has ever known. He becomes facinatated with all of the sculptures - examining them inch by inch. He comes to the sculpture by Micheangelo "David" and smiles.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS CARD: This one is just like me!!
David begins to get closer and closer to the statue. He wants to see how he compares to the famous statue.
Enter Curator. We see the curator exit from her office. She is in an ill fitting skirt suit, wrinkled shirt, she doesn't seem to care what her hair looks like, no make up, large glasses, a grumpy sour puss of a face. The curator see's David getting closer and closer to the statue and scurries over to him.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS CARD: Stand back, don't touch the art work!
David smiles, blushes, steps back. The curator goes about her business. David leans back in to the sculpture as if he is trying to measure something. He smiles.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS CARD: I am bigger!
As David is smiling, pleased with him self, he looses his balance and falls forward. Into the statue of David. The priceless work of art crashes to the ground.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS CARD: Doh!
The curator scurries over, and fusses over the broken bits of her precious David (the sculpture, not the real man).
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS CARD: He's Ruined. You Must Pay.
David looks down, ashamed and turns out his empty pockets.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS CARD: I am a poor traveler. I have nothing to pay you with.
The curator looks back and forth between the remains of the priceless sculpture and David, the handsome traveler. David puts his finger up as if to say "AH HA!"
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS CARD: I have an Idea!
The curator continues to hold several pieces of the statue in her hand... including his, ahem... man bits. She looks as though she is in mourning
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS CARD: I know how I can repay you.
David takes the curator's hand and leads her into her office. As the door closes we see David embrace her in a passionate kiss.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS CARD: David repays the curator in sex.
The door opens and David walks out (debt free) and the curator is standing, with a smile on her face, brushing her teeth. She pulls out her cell phone and starts to text. We pan over the screen. She is texting Maintenance: bring in another one.
We then see 2 maintenance men, one with a giant floor brush, and one with a dolly bringing in another statue of David.
The camera then pans over the sign for the statue room: REPLICA STATUES.
CAPTAIN OBVIOUS CARD: The End.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Blog Assignment #1: Top 10 best MOMENTS of the first 10 years of the millennium
The Top 10 Best Moments of the first 10 years of the new Millennium!!!
Note: "Moment"= Snapshot of a memory or feeling. No all-encompassing general moments like theatre or family or love. That's lame and non-specific, nor does it challenge the blogger. I tried to do things by the year, but somethings got a little hazy (we know my memory isn't the best). Here goes:
2000: My first and last time on stage at UMD (or anywhere for that matter) in Man of the Moment. Specifically, my curtain call, dripping wet, in a bathrobe with soaked hair looking at my parents and Sarah in the 2nd row on stage left. I still can't believe they came all they way up to Duluth to see me on stage for a total of 3 minutes with no lines. That's love.
2002: The summer that I lived with Rob and Bev in North. Bev and I were making beignets, talking about jobs and boys... just being silly. She told me two things that morning: that I "have a lucky star up my butt", and "you can get your hair all up in a mess about boys." I love her so much for those two phrases.
2003: December. Standing in my cube at Best Buy. A beautiful man walked by: tall, lean, dark, dreaded, alternative, angsty, too cool for anyone. I saw him and I knew that I had to know him and make him mine. Still do.
2004: Roberts Family Reunion, Red Wing MN. This weekend I fell madly in love with my cousin Dan. I was his "queen of diamonds" and he was my cribbage partner forever. There is a photo of the two of us playing cards together on the deck in the hot summer sun overlooking the lake. That is the essence of that weekend.
2005: 420 E 13th St, NY NY. Walking out the door to my New York apartment for the first time. I never felt more scared or excited in my life. I'm a big girl now!
2007: Sea World, San Diego, CA. This was the first trip that I took by myself. I had never been sightseeing by myself before. I was so proud of myself for going out and exploring and enjoying all that Sea World had to offer. Shamu I heart U!
2008: Philadelphia, PA. Sunday morning, 11 am-ish. Mom and I find the most amazing French restaurant and had the most memorable meal ever. Chocolate chip pancakes with sorbet, brie stuffed french toast, hot cocoa. The restaurant was decorated is gold, white and blue shabby chic lush fabrics... there was a window seat table and a couple with a small poodle ate their brunch there. They were regulars - they said they would see the bartender next Sunday. Mom and I had a great brunch, recaping our past few days in Philly and figuring out how to capture the last few hours. I hope we get to go back (or go to Paris :)!!! )
2008: The last weekend in June. Sisterpalooza! Our photo shoot at the very end of the weekend - you can look at all the Roberts women and see how very beautiful we are - inside and out. Everyone of us is so different, yet we all have this special bond that makes us a force to be reckoned with when we get together. The men of the world should watch out!
2008: August 28, 3:30ish... I was painting apartment 2, covered in Linen White paint. Rob and I had been dating for just about a month. He was totally the girl in the relationship thus far - he was the one spilling his guts about his feelings, while I had been pretty reserved. Rob had to go to work at the Guthrie that evening. He popped his head into the apartment and yelled goodbye - he didn't want to get all paint-y. As soon as the door slammed shut, I realized that I didn't want him to leave yet.... I ran down the stairs and caught up with him at the base of the stairs (me on the bottom stair, so I was his height). I gave him a quick kiss, told him to have a great shift and told him that I loved him for the first time. And from then on, the table turned - I became an emotional lovesick wreck.
2009: One horribly cold and depressing day in March (I am really not sure if that is true - but I am just taking a stab in the dark!)... I went over to Mom and Dad's house for dinner. For some reason, I brought my computer over and Mom and I began fooling around with the photo booth. I have some of the silliest, craziest pictures of the two of us - and I think that was probably the first time I had smiled in 2009.
Note: "Moment"= Snapshot of a memory or feeling. No all-encompassing general moments like theatre or family or love. That's lame and non-specific, nor does it challenge the blogger. I tried to do things by the year, but somethings got a little hazy (we know my memory isn't the best). Here goes:
2000: My first and last time on stage at UMD (or anywhere for that matter) in Man of the Moment. Specifically, my curtain call, dripping wet, in a bathrobe with soaked hair looking at my parents and Sarah in the 2nd row on stage left. I still can't believe they came all they way up to Duluth to see me on stage for a total of 3 minutes with no lines. That's love.
2002: The summer that I lived with Rob and Bev in North. Bev and I were making beignets, talking about jobs and boys... just being silly. She told me two things that morning: that I "have a lucky star up my butt", and "you can get your hair all up in a mess about boys." I love her so much for those two phrases.
2003: December. Standing in my cube at Best Buy. A beautiful man walked by: tall, lean, dark, dreaded, alternative, angsty, too cool for anyone. I saw him and I knew that I had to know him and make him mine. Still do.
2004: Roberts Family Reunion, Red Wing MN. This weekend I fell madly in love with my cousin Dan. I was his "queen of diamonds" and he was my cribbage partner forever. There is a photo of the two of us playing cards together on the deck in the hot summer sun overlooking the lake. That is the essence of that weekend.
2005: 420 E 13th St, NY NY. Walking out the door to my New York apartment for the first time. I never felt more scared or excited in my life. I'm a big girl now!
2008: Philadelphia, PA. Sunday morning, 11 am-ish. Mom and I find the most amazing French restaurant and had the most memorable meal ever. Chocolate chip pancakes with sorbet, brie stuffed french toast, hot cocoa. The restaurant was decorated is gold, white and blue shabby chic lush fabrics... there was a window seat table and a couple with a small poodle ate their brunch there. They were regulars - they said they would see the bartender next Sunday. Mom and I had a great brunch, recaping our past few days in Philly and figuring out how to capture the last few hours. I hope we get to go back (or go to Paris :)!!! )
2008: The last weekend in June. Sisterpalooza! Our photo shoot at the very end of the weekend - you can look at all the Roberts women and see how very beautiful we are - inside and out. Everyone of us is so different, yet we all have this special bond that makes us a force to be reckoned with when we get together. The men of the world should watch out! 2008: August 28, 3:30ish... I was painting apartment 2, covered in Linen White paint. Rob and I had been dating for just about a month. He was totally the girl in the relationship thus far - he was the one spilling his guts about his feelings, while I had been pretty reserved. Rob had to go to work at the Guthrie that evening. He popped his head into the apartment and yelled goodbye - he didn't want to get all paint-y. As soon as the door slammed shut, I realized that I didn't want him to leave yet.... I ran down the stairs and caught up with him at the base of the stairs (me on the bottom stair, so I was his height). I gave him a quick kiss, told him to have a great shift and told him that I loved him for the first time. And from then on, the table turned - I became an emotional lovesick wreck.
2009: One horribly cold and depressing day in March (I am really not sure if that is true - but I am just taking a stab in the dark!)... I went over to Mom and Dad's house for dinner. For some reason, I brought my computer over and Mom and I began fooling around with the photo booth. I have some of the silliest, craziest pictures of the two of us - and I think that was probably the first time I had smiled in 2009.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I call bogus....
OK... so I am watching Ally McBeal, as we all know, and I call BOGUS!! I am in season 4 and they are celebrating Ally's 28th birthday. WHA??? 28? We are season 4, that means that she was 24 when this whole show started... NO WAY.
First off, Ally does not look 28. She looks older. Not saying she is OLD... but she seems older.
Second - She seems to have gotten very far in her career in just 4 short years. Was she the Doogie Howser of Law? Did she start practicing at the age of 14 and got to be senior partner by 22?
Third - She does not act like a 28 year old at all. I should know I am one.
I am just not buying it. sorry.
First off, Ally does not look 28. She looks older. Not saying she is OLD... but she seems older.
Second - She seems to have gotten very far in her career in just 4 short years. Was she the Doogie Howser of Law? Did she start practicing at the age of 14 and got to be senior partner by 22?
Third - She does not act like a 28 year old at all. I should know I am one.
I am just not buying it. sorry.
2010
This is my first blog of 2010. Happy New Year a few days late.
Things are much the same as 2009 so far. I am still looking for a job, I am still working at Lush every now and again, I am still in my fabulous apartment (but Katie moved her furniture in last night - so I have a new roomie now), and it is still really cold out (too cold for a lady to wear a tube top in Ikea).
I have not only gained a roommate, but I have also gained her dvd collection. It is quite exciting - I am getting to watch the complete series of Ally McBeal (Oh, Taye Diggs and Robert Downey Jr....), and she has some movies I have never seen.
Another exciting thing in 2010: I record a voice over demo in 2 weeks. I could be a HUGE star soon. Here's hoping!
On some really boring notes: I have been re-arranging the furniture in the house. I know have a vanity in my room and I understand what Diana was doing in her room all these years. Being seated while getting ready is SUCH a trap, it is so much easier to putz while seated.
I have also become a product whore. Lush has totally trapped me into loving and needing lotions, cremes, shampoos, and bubble bars. It is kind of a problem. I am really glad that I have a discount and that I don't work that much.
I am ending my Creative Memories career. I was really bad as a sales person... the only people I could get to buy things were my mom, brians mom and geanette. That's not a business. That's my family. I will miss the discount.
I have some lofty goals for 2010. Here are just a few of them:
1. find a full time job that I like
2. take a vacation (not the lake with the fam - even though I love that time... I want to go someplace fun, with my friends, preferably sunny and warm)
3. be more social... must leave the house every now and again right?
4. have a date or two
5. save some money, or pay off a bill
6. have a ton of fun!
all right, that's enough for right now. I will try to visit more often and be funnier. I know you all like it when I am funny.
Hugs n Kisses!
Things are much the same as 2009 so far. I am still looking for a job, I am still working at Lush every now and again, I am still in my fabulous apartment (but Katie moved her furniture in last night - so I have a new roomie now), and it is still really cold out (too cold for a lady to wear a tube top in Ikea).
I have not only gained a roommate, but I have also gained her dvd collection. It is quite exciting - I am getting to watch the complete series of Ally McBeal (Oh, Taye Diggs and Robert Downey Jr....), and she has some movies I have never seen.
Another exciting thing in 2010: I record a voice over demo in 2 weeks. I could be a HUGE star soon. Here's hoping!
On some really boring notes: I have been re-arranging the furniture in the house. I know have a vanity in my room and I understand what Diana was doing in her room all these years. Being seated while getting ready is SUCH a trap, it is so much easier to putz while seated.
I have also become a product whore. Lush has totally trapped me into loving and needing lotions, cremes, shampoos, and bubble bars. It is kind of a problem. I am really glad that I have a discount and that I don't work that much.
I am ending my Creative Memories career. I was really bad as a sales person... the only people I could get to buy things were my mom, brians mom and geanette. That's not a business. That's my family. I will miss the discount.
I have some lofty goals for 2010. Here are just a few of them:
1. find a full time job that I like
2. take a vacation (not the lake with the fam - even though I love that time... I want to go someplace fun, with my friends, preferably sunny and warm)
3. be more social... must leave the house every now and again right?
4. have a date or two
5. save some money, or pay off a bill
6. have a ton of fun!
all right, that's enough for right now. I will try to visit more often and be funnier. I know you all like it when I am funny.
Hugs n Kisses!
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